A bump in the road

I know now that my strength is returning because I have gone to work for two days and come home futzing around or run errands.  Since mid-March I have either been in crisis or preparing for the next crisis.  Now I have all that behind me and healing though slow, is progressing.
On my last visit in the hospital one of my doctors sat on my bed and told me how lucky I am, and that this was all just a bump in the road.  When he told me this it was like he was minimizing what I had gone through. Later I thought about all I had seen in hospitals and waiting rooms of the various doctors.  Although what I have experienced is very severe, once they found out what was going on, the cure for each of the problems is well researched, safe, and reliable.  Often those I saw in the hospitals or waiting rooms had a limited number of days. 
These people are the strong ones who face each day knowing that as each day passes there are fewer remaining.  Those of us who don't know what the future hold make plans while those who know their future live their lives fully. 
My bump in the road gave me a glance into the world of those who cherish each moment.  In some ways they are the environmentalist of life.  These are the ones who use their limited resources in the best way, not wasting the moments that each day brings.

Tough couple of days

On 7/14 I started getting a headache, by that evening was severe so I went to the emergency room.  After a CAT scan and a small shot of Diladin they sent me home.  The next day the headache was back and in full stride so I called the doctor and he admitted me to the hospital.  They put me on Depakote which is a seizure medicine but it totally got rid of the headache by the next morning.
I have two new medicines to add to my bag of "goodies" which is WAY to big as it is.  Three of the medicines are short term, so after I stabilize I will only be on Thyroid medicine and some vitamins.
I was so disappointed  to go back to the hospital, the night before the headache started we had gone to a Carole King / James Taylor concert and I kept hearing her sing "You got to get up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world..."  I think hearing that helped me from sinking into a really low dishbag funk.  However, the bright lights may have been the cause of the headache.
Oh well, no more concerts for a while, I will just have to listen to Pandora and Wolfgangs vault.

Just waiting

I missed my daughters graduation from college because I was hospitalized in May, so this weekend we all got together to celebrate.  Four friends from Durango came and Three nurses from her class performed the pinning ceremony for her.  We were all touched and very happy for Megan.
I am able to appreciate the moments with so much more clarity than before when I planned life and followed the plan.  Now the days are precious because of their ordinariness, and  the events more cherished because of their value.
Two of the girls are testing for their state boards today, one of which is Megan.  They have all worked very hard and been a tremendous support to each other.  I am honored to have met such lovely, honest, caring women who are a part of my daughters life.

Healing goes on

My voice is barely audible and I am beginning to get headaches again.  Dr. Hepworth (ENT doctor) has made a small cut in my throat so the blood can drain, this will relieve the pressure on my larynx and on my throat for swallowing.  He expects me to heal completely by next Wednesday, it will be 5 weeks after surgery by then. My next appointment with Dr. Wolf (Neurologist) is in August, if the headaches continue or become worse I will have to contact him regarding the blood clot status. 
Neither of these situations are what we had hoped for, nor are they very bad.  I think back to Mid-March when this all began, and all of events that have transpired have been strange and mysterious.  Today Dr. Hepworth gave me a hug, I feel he is pleased that I am making progress since so much of what has happened has been unexpected. 
After talking with the doctors about exercise and bleeding I have been released to begin exercising again.  This is good news I am looking forward to regaining my strength.  Beginning tomorrow I will start exercising 1 hour per day keeping track that my heartbeat does not exceed 120 bpm.  Working steadily toward health I will regain my strength!

The cone of shame

I took my dog to the dog park today because I wasn't up for a walk, but wanted him to have some exercise.  He sat right next to me the whole time!  I couldn't figure out why he didn't run around and play until I spoke to my sister.
Yesterday I met with Dr. Hepworth and he told me the 3 inch fat cigar size lump on my neck is a hematoma (blood clot) from the surgery and since this is 3 weeks later he was going to have to intervene to help it along.  What he did was numb my neck, and cut about 1/8 size hole in MY NECK.  To keep this open and let the hematoma drain I have to daily dress the wound.  What this means is packing about 2 inches of sterile 1/4 inch gauze into the hole in my neck, with a little tab hanging out so I can remove it the next morning, and of course repack it.
No, this is not fun, but it is bearable.  Of course everything has to be sterile, and I have to be extra careful no to let any germs in to feast on the old blood.  In addition to this I still have no voice.  The Betty Davis comparison is getting old.
So my lovely, caring, beautiful sister figured that Gonzo (my dog) was embarrassed for me to talk because then the other dogs would look at me and he would be ashamed.  Thus the cone of shame.
Guess I should quit felling sorry for myself and feel sorry for my dog?

A damn fine day

Went for a 3 mile hike up here this morning, and the flowers are beginning to bloom it was exhausting and lovely. 

No headache so I'm going to step up my hiking and start getting out more.  I think I'm finally,,,really...truly...on the mend. 

Great day yesterday with the family going on a magical mystery tour which included monsters, Africans, and crabs.  You gotta try it, it was the best!

Sharing is caring

OK this is sappy but more importantly true.  I am doing so much better, no more headaches (at least not in the last 7 days), still no voice (but who really needs it in the summer?), my strength is returning (never fast enough true?), and the love of family of friends is holding strong!  I have received and continue to receive well wishes, people keeping in touch, and invitations to get out.
Last week I had lunch with two good friends on different days, and since I am having difficulty finding high neck shirts to cover the gruesome neck thing, they both are going shopping for me, one has already found shirts for me.  I have been given suggestions for scarves, and many people tell me "It's not that bad", but really it is totally gross!
It was my turn to share today, Rob who has to look at my gross neck and the stress of having a very sick wife needed a break so he went rafting with raft club friends on the Arkansas river, I hope he has a wonderful time.  He needs strenuous activity like other men need cave time. 
Tomorrow he and I are going on a picnic with his parents to a secret location that only special people get to go to.  They are sharing their special place with us, and Rob is sharing his weekend time with me.  It all works out  :-)